I'm Not Making This Up

Attention Gentlemen!!

We all know Valentines day is coming up. I know, it’s the worst. But that’s besides the point!! I am here to offer you some advice that may possibly SAVE you this valentines day.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT LISTEN TO THE RUSSELL STOVER COMMERCIALS THAT ARE ALL OVER TV RIGHT NOW AND BUY YO LADY FRIEND SOME SHITTY, CHEAP CHOCOLATE IN A HEART SHAPE BOX FROM CVS/WALGREENS/KROGER!!!

I repeat, do NOT. DO. THIS.

“But she LOVES chocolate!” Okay, valid. Get her chocolate then! But get her some good chocolate. Get some godiva or something. I don’t know, i don’t really like chocolate that much.

What i CAN tell you is this: No woman wants to receive some stale, bad tasting, cheap chocolate that you thought to get at the last second on the way home from work. The “heart shaped box” doesn’t make it special. These commercials are lying to you. Society is lying to you.

Get her flowers, get her personalized m&ms, get her an edible arrangement, get her chocolate from somewhere else! Hell, don’t get her anything at all. I DON’T CARE!! But please, stay away from the “special heart shaped box” calling to you from the pink aisle at Walgreens.

This has been a Valentines day PSA.

Posted 3 months ago — 3 notes